Helpfinder Sampler - Page 12



Jealousy can make enemies of friends. Notice the progression of Saul’s jealousy. Saul first
became afraid David might replace him. Then he became tormented by a jealous spirit.
page This
A189led him to uncontrolled rage, causing him to try to harm David. The selfish pursuit of
When weDavid
seek the
character
traits
that come
from the Holy Spirit, we are spared from petty
harming
became
Saul’s
lifelong
passion.
page human
A187 jealousy and the hard feelings that come from the competition for honor and popularity.
page A187
Judging Others
Forgiveness
continued
continued
page A186
Passing
judgment
second nature to most of us. We see a child acting up
Intimacy
continued
PROM
I S E S Fon
R Oothers
M G is
OD
and happily
condemn
parent
discipline.
Someone
speaks
up for what
he(9)
believes
withthe
each
other;for
(8)poor
talking
together about
the Lord
and spiritual
things;
giving
E R Einstantly
MI A H 3 :2categorize
2 | “My wayward
children,”
says the
Lord, “come
back
to we
me,see
andthe
I will
• Jwe
and
him.
problem
others
is each
that
perthanks
to the Lord together;
(10)The
submitting
towith
eachjudging
other; (11)
loving
other
as passionheal
your
wayward
hearts.”
son’s
words
and actions
through
negative
ately
as Christ
loved the
church aand
died forfilter
it. in our mind. Our perspective narrows
to•include
faults
when,
should
be broad
enough
toand
include
their goodAC T S 2only
:3 8 |their
“Each
of you
mustreally,
repentit of
your sins
and turn
to God,
be baptized
in the
ness,
too. The
Bible warns
us against
judging
others.
Whenyou
wewill
judge
others,
we of
assume
name
of your
sins. Then
receive
the gift
the
P R O of
M Jesus
I S E Christ
F R O for
M the
G Oforgiveness
D
we know
their thoughts and motives and are qualified to pronounce judgment. In reality,
Holy Spirit.”
only
can know 8a:9person’s
heart.
Before
we
jump
conclusions
aboutus
it
C
| “Learn
tosins
know
the God
yourtoancestors
.someone,
. our
. If you
• 11God
J OHHRNO N1I:C9L E| SIf2we
confess
our
to him,
he isof
faithful
and just intimately.
to forgive
sinsseek
and

helps
to remember
hurts
we’ve experienced when others wrongfully judged us. This will
him,
you
will
find
him.”
to cleanse us from all wickedness.
broaden our perspective toward people, ridding us of the negative filter that defiles their
reputation. Seeing others as Jesus sees them, as God’s children worthy of love and kindSee
Communication;
Hospitality; Love;
Neighbors
alsoalso
Anger;
Bitterness; Commitment;
Desires
ness, will replace See
judgment
with
mercy.
Friendship
Jealousy
How
do you
have?
Whoemotions,
are
they?
you
are
typical,
range from
Jealousy
is friends
one of the
most
common
but
we
often
fail
toyour
seefriends
how
it can
Howmany
do assumptions
hurt
people?
What
isIf
the
danger
in making
assumptions?
casual
todangerous.
those you would
for. Sometimes
wehave
are closer
our friends
also
beacquaintances
one of the most
We’re die
jealous
of those who
better to
houses,
S A Mown
UE
L brothers
1 :1vacation
2 - 1 5 |orAs
she was
praying
to thespouses,
Lord, Elihappier
watchedfamilies,
her. Seeing
hertalents.
lips mov• 1our
than
sisters.
Friends
share
affection,
companionship,
confidences,
nicer
cars,
more
time,
more
attractive
more
ing but
no sound,
he thought
hadfellowship,
been drinking.
“Must
come hereloyalty,
drunk?”
consideration,
devotion,
faithfulness,
harmony,
helpfulness,
Jealousy
ishearing
an emotion
ofesteem,
passion,
and she
uncontrolled
jealousy
leads you
to passionate
hate.
he demanded.
. . .far,
“Oh
shean
replied,
“I haven’t
drinking.
. I wasAbel.
pouring
out
partnership,
sympathy,
trust,
and
understanding.
Friends
are. . those
you
want
If
allowed
to support,
go that
itno,
cansir!”
drive
inflamed
personbeen
to kill,
as Cain
killed
Short
my heart
the
Lord.”
to that,
spend
timetowith.
God
created
usbusinesses
for relationships—with
each
other and with
him.
of
families
have
been
broken,
poisoned, and
relationships
destroyed
Our Sometimes
friendship
with
God should
be the model
foranall
our
other
friendships.
an Learning
assumption
presumes
to
know
answer
before
questionbefore
is asked.
through
jealousy.
to recognize
and
deal
with
feelings
of ajealousy
they
Assumptions
are often unfair because they judge another person before the facts are
overwhelm
us is essential.
F
J I
Canknown.
I truly be friends with God?
ES 2 :2 3 | “Abraham
believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his
• JJ AOisM
Why
1 1 :1 3 - 1 4 |so
“Ifdangerous?
only you would prepare your heart and lift up your hands to him in
• B jealousy
HelpFinder
HelpFinder


faith.”
called
the friend of
God.to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in
PR
O V E RHe
B Swas
1rid
4 :3even
0 your
| A
peaceful
prayer!
Get
of
sins, andheart
leaveleads
all iniquity
behind you.”
Ethe
X Obones.
D US 3 3 :1 1 | The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.
Sometimes an assumption asks the right question but jumps too quickly to the wrong
Both Abraham
and
Moses
are referred
to
friends
of Job
God.
Wesuffering,
are his
friends,
if we
Jealousy
likecase,
a disease,
eating
away
at as
our
character
andwas
causing
anger,
and
answer.
Inisthis
Job’s friends
couldn’t
explain
why
sobitterness,
theytoo,
assumed
truly
seek
him
and
love him.
even
hatred
toand
consume
us.God’s punishment on himself. They were asking the right queshe had
sinned
brought
tion—why?—but
with
wrong
answer.
| The
Lordup
a friend
to those
whoisfear
Hedangerous.
teaches them his covenant.

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O LVM
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|coming
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isiscruel
.the
. . but
jealousy
evenhim.
more
• PS
Sharing
our
secrets
is
a
mark
of
great
friendship.
When
God
shares
theLord.
secrets
of my
his ways
I
SA
I
A
H
5
5
:
8
|
“My
thoughts
are
nothing
like
your
thoughts,”
says
the
“And

and Lot.
• GE N ES I S 1 3 :7 | So disputes broke out between the herdsmen of Abram
promises
with us,
we know
that
he imagine.”
considers us his friends.
are
far beyond
anything
youfriends
could
Jealousy
tears families
and
apart. Jealousy drove Lot’s herdsmen to fight with his
Our
assumptions
align themselves with the way God thinks. If you want to
uncle
Abram’s
herdsmen.
What
isnatural
the
mark
of true rarely
friendship?
understand how God acts, you must work to understand how he thinks.
• PR O V E R B S 1 7 :1 7 | A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.
• 1 S A M UE L 1 8 :3 | And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as
PR O VJoseph’s
E R B S 1 2house.
:1 2 | Thieves
are jealous
each someone
other’s loot,
thesacks
godly last
are well
“It’s because
of the of
money
putbut
in our
time rooted
we
• into
he loved himself. (See note on page 261.)
and bear
their
own
fruit.
were
here,”
they
said.
“He plans to pretend that we stole it. Then he will seize us, make us
Some friendships are fleeting and some are lasting. True friendships are glued together
slaves,
andare
take
our donkeys.”
When you
jealous
over other people’s things, you begin to justify to yourself why you
How
my life?
can
jealousy
lead
N ES Ijealousy
S 4 3 :1 8 | affect
The brothers
wereWhat
terrified
when
they saw
thatto?
they were being taken
• GEcan
with bonds of loyalty and commitment. They remain intact despite changing external
is the opposite
of generosity,
where you
to give
what
S Atake
M UE Lthem
1 0 :3away.
| TheThis
Ammonite
commanders
said to Hanun,
theirlove
master,
“Doaway
you really
• 2can
circumstances.
you
thinkhave.
these men are coming here to honor your father? No! David has sent them to spy out
What
friendships?
ES I S in
4 :4the
- 5 |way
The of
Lord
accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and
• GE Ngets
the city so they can come in and conquer it!”
1 S Agift.
UEThis
L 1 8made
:9 - 1 1 Cain
time
on Saul
kept
a jealous
eye on
David. . . If. Saul
had a
• his
verythat
angry.
Fear Mcan
cause
you |toFrom
assume
the
worst
about
people
and their
intentions.
you consisspear
in
his
hand,
and
he
suddenly
hurled
it
at
David.
tently
assume
the
worst
about
others,
you
can
become
suspicious
and
paranoid.
You
will
AC
T
S
1
7
:5
6
|
But
some
of
the
Jews
were
jealous,
so
they
gathered
some
troublemakers

Jealousy
is
the great
dividing
of
friendships.
Envy over
what aoffriend
has
will soonfor
turn
also hurt
others
as you
to force
keep
away
from them.
from
the marketplace
totry
form
a mob.
. . . They
attacked
the home
Jason,
searching
to anger
and bitterness,
causingthem
you to separate
yourself out
from the one
you
trulypage
cared for.
(Seedo
note
Not finding
dragged
PR O Vand
E R B SSilas.
2 5 :8. .| . Don’t
be in a hurrythere,
to gothey
to court.
For whatJason.
will you
inon
the end999.)
if your
• Paul
PS A L M 4 1for
: 9 attention
| Even
friend,
thedrive
one Iatrusted
. . has turned
againsttome.
• neighbor
deals
you amy
shameful
defeat?
Jealousy
orbest
affection
can
personcompletely
to extreme .action,
even seeking
(See
501.)
harmnote
or on
killpage
others.
Assumptions are often made too quickly. There is an old saying, “Haste makes waste.”
respect
or
istheir
seriously
damaged,
even
the
closest
is deciat his
risk.
When
you
towas
judge
before
having
thekilled
information,
youfriendship
make
1 S A M UE
L are
1 8 :7too
- 1commitment
2quick
| This
song:
“Saulall
has
his thousands,
andpoor
David
• When
regret.
2sions
S Athousands!”
Mthat
UE L you
1 3 :1later
1 This
| But
as she
was
feeding
he from
grabbed
and
• ten
made
Saul
very
angry.him,
. . . So
thather
time
ondemanded,
Saul kept a“Come
jealousto
bed
with
GE N on
ES
IDavid.
S me.”
1 8 :1 2. . |. A
Sotormenting
she laughed
silently
herself
and said, Saul.
“How. could
worn-out
• eye
spirit
fromtoGod
overwhelmed
. . ButaSaul
had a spear
Friendships
are
destroyed
boundaries
are .violated.
woman
like me
such when
pleasure
.it. .at?”David.
in
his hand,
andenjoy
he suddenly
hurled
. . Saul was then afraid of David. (See note
page 262.)
Assumptions
from a human
Howon
can
I turn made
my enemies
into viewpoint
friends? lead to actions made only from a human
viewpoint;
thismake
can close
the of
door
to God’s
miracles
in your life.ofWhen
are open
to first
the
Jealousy can
enemies
friends.
Notice
the progression
Saul’syou
jealousy.
Saul
GE N ES I S 5 0 :1
2 1 | “So we in
. . your
. beg life,
you to forgive
our
sin.”
. .work
. “No,
don’t be
I will
• possibilities
of7 -God
begin
to see
his
around
youafraid.
more
clearly.
became afraid
Davidworking
might replace
him. you
Then
he became
tormented
by a jealous
spirit.
continue
to take
care
God
promises
workofinyou.”
your
life, causing
but you him
musttosee
life from
hisThe
perspective
or else
This
led
him
toto
uncontrolled
rage,
try your
to harm
David.
selfish pursuit
of
Forgiveness
restores
broken
you will be
blind
to what
he isrelationships.
doing
inpassion.
you and through you.
harming
David
became
Saul’s
lifelong
• GA L AT I A N S 5 :2 2 | But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives . . .
5:2210:13
| But| the
Holy
Spirit
produces
this
of fruit
in our lives
..
ECCLES IASSTES
Fools
base
their
thoughts
onkind
foolish
assumptions,
so. their
• GALATIAN
Howconclusions
canwe
I deal
with
jealousy?
will
becharacter
wicked
madness.
When
seek
the
traits that come from the Holy Spirit, we are spared from petty
jealousy
the
hard
feelings
thatshe
come
from
the
competition
for honor
and
popularity.
Wrong
assumptions
lead
to wrong
conclusions.
And
wrong
conclusions
lead
to wrong
GEN ES IS
30:1 | and
When
Rachel
saw that
wasn’t
having
any
children
for
Jacob,
she
• human
actions.
became
jealous
of
her
sister.
How can I deal with jealousy?
1 TIMOTHY
1:4 | Don’t
let them
their
in endless
discussion
and to
of enjoying
the favor
andwaste
love of
hertime
husband,
Rachel
focused of
onmyths
her inability
• Instead
ES IS 30:1 | When Rachel saw that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she
• GEN
give Jacob
children.These
She became
jealous
sister, Leah.
The cure forwhich
jealousy
is being
spiritual
pedigrees.
things only
leadoftoher
meaningless
speculations,
don’t
help
HelpFinderBible_NLT.indb
A186
5/14/2018
10:24:03 AM
became
jealous
of
her
sister.
thankfullive
anda enjoying
what
you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t have.
people
life of faith
in God.
Instead of enjoying the favor and love of her husband, Rachel focused on her inability to
20:15 | “Should
you
jealous because
I am
kind to
others?”
• MATTHEW
Wrong assumptions
can lead
to be
arguments
and even
threaten
our
relationships with
give Jacob children. She became jealous of her sister, Leah. The cure for jealousy is being
others. When
we selfishness.
assume we are
right,
we ourselves
also assume
thesomeone
other person
is wrong,
so we
Jealousy
reveals
Wedo
want
what
Jealousy
thankful and
enjoying
what you
haveforinstead
of focusing
on whatelse
youhas.
don’t
have.
set out atosmallness
prove ourofrightness
and
their wrongness.
This
puts
the dangerous
position
shows
heart that
resents
the blessings
and
joy us
of in
others.
The inability
to
20:15
“Should
you
be jealous
because
I am
kindnot
to others?”
• MATTHEW
of
judging
others |and
ascribing
guilt
to
someone
might
be guilty.
It also
us
rejoice
in another’s
success
or good
fortune
limitswho
your
own
capacity
for joy.
Themakes
cure for
Jealousy
We want
for incorrect.
ourselves what someone else has. Jealousy
look foolish
whenselfishness.
our assumptions
prove
jealousy
isreveals
gratitude.
shows
a3:10—4:2
smallness| of
heartGod
that resents
the blessings
and ajoy
of others.
The inability
to
JON AH21:19When
. . [Peter]
. how
they
had
ways, he
22 | Jesus
said thissaw
to let
know
byput
what stop
kind to
of their
deathevil
he would
glorify
• JOHN
rejoice in another’s success or good fortune limits your own capacity for joy. The cure for
changed
his mind
andaround
did notand
carry
out
the destruction
he hadJesus
threatened.
Thisone
change
God.
.
.
.
Peter
turned
saw
behind
them
the
disciple
loved—the
who
jealousy is gratitude.
of
plans
greatly
Jonah,
and
he became
very angry.
hewill
complained
to the
Lord
had
leaned
over upset
to Jesus
during
supper
and asked,
“Lord, So
who
betray you?”
Peter
JOHN 21:19- 22 | Jesus said this to let [Peter] know by what kind of death he would glorify
• about
it.
asked Jesus,
“What about him, Lord?” Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I
God. . . . Peter turned around and saw behind them the disciple Jesus loved—the one who
return,9:13
what| is
thatLord,”
to you?
As for you,
follow me.”
“But
exclaimed
Ananias,
“I’ve heard many people talk about the
• ACTS
had leaned over to Jesus during supper and asked, “Lord, who will betray you?” Peter
When
Peter
heard
Jesus’
prophecy
of the
his death,
he wondered
what would happen to the
terrible
things
this
man
has
done
to
believers
in Jerusalem!”
asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?” Jesus replied,
“If I want him to remain alive until I
other
disciplean(John).
Jesus made
it clear
that
Peter
to pay attention
toseeing
his ownthem
concerns,
Sometimes
assumption
causes
youfollow
to give
upwas
on people
instead of
return,
what
is
that
to
you?
As
for
you,
me.”
not those of others. In many situations, you may be tempted to compare your lot in life with
through God’s eyes. Jonah assumed that the Ninevites could never be saved. Ananias
When Peter
heard
Jesus’rebukes
prophecy
his death,
he wondered
what
would
happen
to the
another’s.
Jesus
sternly
thisofattitude.
It shows
with
God’s
plan
and
stirs disassumed Paul
could
never be redeemed.
When
you discontent
judge others
spiritually,
you
doubt
other
disciplepeople.
(John).Instead,
Jesus made
clearfocus
that Peter
was
toaccept
pay attention
hisfor
own
sent
among
keepityour
on
God
and
that histowill
youconcerns,
is best.
that almighty
God has the power
to change
lives.
not those of others. In many situations, you may be tempted to compare your lot in life with
What
does itJesus
mean
thatrebukes
God isthis
“aattitude.
jealous
God”?
another’s.
sternly
It shows
discontent
withI God’s
plan and stirs disWhat
are some assumptions
I should
avoid?
What
should
not assume?
people.
Instead,
keep your
Godfor
and
accept
his will
forname
you isisbest.
EXODamong
US 34:14
| You
must worship
nofocus
otheron
gods,
the
Lord,that
whose
very
• sent
• JOHN 14:6 | Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the
Jealous,
isitamean
God who
is jealous
his relationship
What
does
that
God isabout
“a jealous
God”? with you.
Father
except
through
me.”
EUTERON OMY 5:9 | “I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your
•D
Don’tUS
just34:14
assume
youmust
will go
to heaven.
Thegods,
Biblefor
says
onlywhose
way tovery
heaven
is is
by
EXOD
| You
worship
no other
thethe
Lord,
name

affection
any Christ
other
accepting
Jesus
as
Saviorabout
and Lord.
Jealous, isfor
a God
who isgods.”
jealous
his relationship with you.
EUTERON
OMY
32:21showed
| ‘They
have
roused
my
by God
worshiping
things
areyour
not
•D
ROMAN
S 5:8
| God
great
love
for
usjealousy
by
sending
Christ
die
for tolerate
usthat
while
we

D EUTERON
OMY
5:9 | “I, the his
Lord
your
God,
am
a jealous
whotowill
not
(See note on page 189.)
God.’
were still
sinners.
affection
for
any other gods.”
ZECHARIAH
1:14| |“And
‘This
is
what
theso
Lord
of
Heaven’s
Armies
says:
Myare
love
for
Jerusalem

MATTHEW
God
cares
wonderfully
for wildflowers
that
here
today
EUTERON 6:30
OMY 32:21
| if‘They
have
roused
my
jealousy
by worshiping
things
that
areand
not
•• D
and
Mount
Zion
is
passionate
and
strong.’
thrown
into
theonfire
tomorrow,
he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?”
note
page
189.)
God.’ (See
When people give their honor, praise, and love to other things, God is jealous that the
P ETER 5:7 1:14
| Give
all your
worries
to God, for
he cares
you.
| ‘This
is what
the and
Lordcares
of Heaven’s
Armies
says:about
My love
for Jerusalem
• 1ZECHARIAH
honor due him has been squandered elsewhere. Because God deserves all our honor,
and
Mount
isthis
passionate
and
strong.’
Don’t
assume
God
doesn’t
care,
for
evidence of
shows
does.
praise,
and Zion
love,
is an honest
recognition
whathe
heclearly
deserves.
When
people
their
honor,replied,
praise, “if
andthe
love
to other
things,
God
is all
jealous
that the to
GES
6:13 give
| “Sir,”
Gideon
Lord
is with
us, why
has
this happened
• JUD
honor
due
has
been
God deserves
all say,
our honor,
us?
where
thesquandered
ourelsewhere.
ancestors Because
told us about?
Didn’t they
‘The Lord
P R And
OM
I Shim
E are
F R all
O
M
Gmiracles
OD
praise, and love, this is an honest recognition of what he deserves.
brought us up out of Egypt’? But now the Lord has abandoned us and handed us over to
ROV ERBS 14:30 | A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in
• Pthe
Midianites.”
the
P R bones.
OMISE FROM GOD
Don’t assume God won’t help you or doesn’t want to help you, for he has already done so
more
ways
than| you
know, and
he leads
will continue
to dobody;
so. And
don’t assume
you know
P ROV
ERBS
14:30
A peaceful
heart
to a healthy
jealousy
is like cancer
in
• in
better
than
God how Hope
to fix your problems.
See
Happiness;
the bones.
• LUKE 8:35- 36 | A crowd soon gathered around Jesus, and they saw the man who had
been freed from the demons. He was sitting at Jesus’ feet, fully clothed and perfectly sane,
See Happiness; Hope See also Racism & Prejudice
and they were all afraid. Then those who had seen what happened told the others how the
demon-possessed
man had beenevery
healed.
We make
dozens of assumptions
day. In fact, it would be difficult to function if you
Don’tmake
assume
people can’tabout
change;
God’s
power
can
change
See also
Racism
& Prejudice
couldn’t
assumptions
weather,
traffic,
food,
work, anyone.
and relationships. Many
of •our
assumptions
are
and many
are necessary
gravity
EXOD
US 18:14, 2122harmless,
| When Moses’
father-in-law
saw all(like
thatassuming
Moses wasthat
doing
for the
We
dozens
of assumptions
every
day.
In fact, it would
be difficult
to and
function
if you
will make
continue
exist).
On the
hand,
assumptions
can also
wrong
harmful,
people, hetoasked,
“What
areother
you really
accomplishing
here?
Whybe
are
you trying
to do all
couldn’t
make
assumptions
about
weather,
traffic,
food,
work,
and
relationships.
Many
causing
us
to
react
in
ways
that
have
negative
effects.
For
example,
we
sometimes
thisassumptions
alone. . . . Butare
select
from alland
the many
peopleare
some
capable,(like
honest
men whothat
feargravity
God make
and
of our
harmless,
necessary
assuming
assumptions
about
people
based
on their
hairstyles
or. They
clothing,
onlyyou
to find
out
later
hate
bribes.
Appoint
them
as
leaders
over
groups.
.
.
will
help
carry
the
load,our
will
continue
to
exist).
On
the
other
hand,
assumptions
can
also
be
wrong
and
harmful,
assumptions were completely off base. When we make assumptions about people it is
making
thereact
task easier
forthat
you.”
causing
us to
in ways
have negative effects. For example, we sometimes make
called
judging
others.
Don’t assume
that
only you
can on
do their
a certain
job, foror
others
mightonly
do better.
can our
assumptions
about
people
based
hairstyles
clothing,
to findWe
outalllater
benefit from
thecompletely
help and advice
of others.
assumptions
were
off base.
When we make assumptions about people it is
called judging others.
Joy
Judging
Others
Joy
Judging Others
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